


Curiosity killed the cat (but satisfaction brought it back)

by SerMisty



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Blue Pearl is mute, F/F, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kinda, Pearls Revolution, Steven and Connie just want to help, White Pearl Theory, Yellow Pearl is actually a sweetie on the inside, implied yellow pearl/blue pearl, this wanted to be fluffy but came out a little angsty sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 13:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5787100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerMisty/pseuds/SerMisty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(direct sequel of "Like a drop of water in the sea" and "Going Home")</p><p>With all the pearls now on Earth, Steven and Connie just want to help. But they have so many questions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Curiosity killed the cat (but satisfaction brought it back)

**Author's Note:**

> this wanted to be fluffy but then angst happened. tw: implied suicide (even if it's not human suicide??? kinda anyway)

His mother loved all creatures and Steven took without a doubt a lot of things from his mother. That is why, as son of the leader of the Crystal Gems, he considers his duty to make sure that every pearl landed on Earth feels happy and at home. 

It’s a lot easier to say than to do. 

The thousands of pearls that spent the night on the beach, guarded by Garnet, don’t even consider him. Oh sure, they are gentle and respectful, but they dismiss him like he’s nothing worth losing time with. This behavior saddens him.  
As ironic as it is, Peridot is the one that better explains the way they act: pearls are made to serve gems and even if they rebelled they are probably still prone to obey; but Steven is only half gem, and so they don’t see him in charge.  
Steven huffs.  
«I don’t like how on Homworld some gems are better than others» he observes.  
«I didn’t like how here all gems are equals» Peridot replies. Then she adds: «At first». 

Peridot’s intuition seems correct: the pearls always fall silent when Garnet, Amethyst or Pearl talk, and even when Yellow or Blue Pearl step forward in the conversation – even if Blue can’t really say anything. They also show more attention to him if he walks beside Pearl and she caresses his hair, so he takes advantage of those times to come with Connie and bring the pearls blankets and pillows and books and toys.  
Pearl says that is useless, that they don’t know what to do with them, that they still need to learn how Earth works. Steven doesn’t agree: how can they possibly do that if they don’t see what they’re supposed to learn first?  
In the end, just a couple of pearls between the dozens he and Connie succeeded in giving gifts to actually kept them. Some of them even smiled. 

Garnet observes that they can’t keep thousands of pearls on the beach for much longer. Pearl agrees. It takes a while and a bunch of trips in and out the warp, but they finally find a place where to bring them.  
Garnet and Amethyst guide them there in groups and Steven comes with them a couple of times, at the start and at the end, to see: it’s an island similar to the one where he lost himself with Lars and Sadie, and he is certain he can read in the pearl’s faces that they find it fascinating.  
Garnet promises it’s only temporary. Until they find a better compromise. Not a single pearl disagrees. 

Only two of them remain back at Beach City, and they are Yellow and Blue Pearl. 

Steven doesn’t really get it, not completely. Pearl never gave him more than a glimpse of information about Homeworld and neither did Garnet. Amethyst is as clueless as him. Again, the only one that can tell him something is Peridot, but she wasn’t around when Pearl lived there and so even she isn’t that useful. Steven can rely only on his great ability of deduction to understand why they between all those pearls are the one to stay home with them. And will probably stay for a long time. 

«Blue and Yellow will live here» Pearl tells him one day, petting his hair. «They will mostly be out to help the other pearls and are very kind, so you don’t need to worry about anything».  
He isn’t worried. Why should he be? But he is curious, very curious, and in someway he realizes that Pearl is kindly asking him not to be. That’s not going to happen.  
«Are they your friends?» he asks. «Why are they here? Why didn’t they come with you in the first place? Did you miss them?»  
«You heard their story» Pearl only answers the second question and quickly warps herself away. Steven is left alone and sighs, realizing he will need to be a lot more subtle. 

***

He and Connie, that obviously wants to help him, decide they want to know more about the pearls in general. Not by what Peridot says – which, Steven thinks, it may be accurate but _slightly_ sided – but from the pearls themselves.  
The two kids visit them everytime Garnet goes – the fusion has probably understood their intentions, but she doesn’t stop them – and the more they show up the more the pearls are friendly: they probably begin to see them as gems, as someone to obey to. Steven would very much prefer be considered a friend. 

He and Connie look at them: they are all so similar but so different but so _similar_. Everyone has an individual haircut – but no one has long hair – and an individual dress that can vary from very short to very long to very simple to very complexed. Their gems is in different places: Steven notices that very few have their gem on the forehead.  
«They look like dolls» Connie murmurs in his ear once. «I could choose the one I like the most and bring her home with me». 

Garnet hears her and rises her head from the tree she is pulling down to build a hut. She looks, stays silent, goes back to work.  
Steven has the sensation Connie got really close to the reality: surely in the dark, after a horror movie, all those pearls so alike would give him the chills. 

«How was Homeworld?» is the first question he asks them when he finally feels they are comfortable enough.  
There are whispers all around before answers start to come out. 

«Bad». 

«Not good». 

«It could have been better». 

«It was okay». 

«I-I don’t know». 

«I liked it there». 

«It was better than here». 

«At least I knew what to _do_ ». 

The responses are all different and even contradicting. Before Steven can ask more, however, the pearls begin bickering and shaking and they hold their head and Steven doesn’t know how to help them. 

Garnet has to take action and calm them. She takes a while and when she and the kids go away some of them are still curled on the floor, mumbling something.  
«They are fragile» Garnet lectures them very quietly while they keep eyes fixed on the ground, mortified. «They are different from Pearl. What they did forced them to go against everything that had always been fixated in their mind. They’ll need time to recover completely».  
«But that’s why we were asking!» Connie replies. «We want to understand, so we can help them!»  
«It’s nothing you can help them with. They’ll need to help themselves». 

For a moment, Steven is sure, she is talking about Pearl, their Pearl. But then the moment passes and he isn’t that certain anymore. 

«I have more questions everytime I ask one, and never a single answer» he murmurs. «Do you know what’s going on, Garnet? Why don’t you tell me?»  
«It’s not my duty. When Pearl is ready, she’ll be the one to explain».  
Steven surely cannot wait that long. 

***

He and Connie write down what they know. 

_1) Pearls are supposed to serve other gems back on Homeworld._

_2) Pearl didn’t._

_3) All the pearls rebelled and came to Earth with giant spaceships._

_~~4) Dogcopter is real.~~ _

_5) Pearls are very sensible to the argument and have different feelings about Homeworld_ (Connie adds here, with a different colored pencil: _though, some of those feelings could not be truthful)._

_6) Pearl cares a lot about Yellow Pearl and Blue Pearl._

_7) Pearl is not ready to talk about Homeworld._

After that, they write a list of the most important things they want to be answered. 

_1) Were Pearls happy on Homeworld?_

_2) Why are they so sensitive?_

_3) Do Blue and Yellow care about Pearl as much as she does?_

_4) Why didn’t they fight alongside Pearl during the rebellion?_

And the most important,

_5) Will Pearl be okay?_

At the end, they are so satisfied of their work that they postpone the investigation for the next day.

***

Since Garnet doesn’t let them visit the pearls anymore – she replaces them with Amethyst, but after the first time she goes alone and Steven hasn’t a hard time figuring out that the purple gem was as curious as they were – he and Connie can only operate from home.  
Reluctant, they try to ask Peridot again. 

«Didn’t I already tell you?» she replies, without raising her eyes from the sheet of paper that she is filling with something related to that show Steven made her watch. «Pearls are things. They are made to serve».  
«We know that» Steven crosses his arms. He doesn’t like when Peridot talks like that. «But how did they live? Were they happy? Did they like their job?»  
«Happy?» Peridot finally looks up and laughs. «They weren’t supposed to _be_ anything. Peridots like me programmed them, you know? Not me, but some of my kind».  
«They are programmed?» Connie frowns. «All gems are?»  
«No! But we could be, hypothetically speaking. We are made. Pearl are made in particular soils with a unique mixture of – why am I even trying to be specific, you wouldn’t understand – things. In this way, we make sure they won’t have feelings». 

Steven’s jaw almost drops.  
«No feelings?» he shivers. «But why?»  
«Would you like your thing-that-holds-your-jacket right there to have feelings?»  
Steven’s fists tremble.  
«Pearl is not a thing-that-holds-my-jacket».  
«Because she is defective. She came out with feelings and thoughts. But that was bound to happen, honestly, or at least that’s what older Peridots told me. Gems wanted their pearls to be more and more articulated, and in the end some feeling had to emerge for sure. The newer ones had personalities and stuff».  
Peridot makes them sign to come closer, then lowers her voice and whispers: «That pearl that now lives here, the blue one. She’s an old version, see? They can’t talk unless they are taught to, and her owner never did. That’s hilarious!»  
«It’s not hilarious». 

The three of them jump when another voice intervenes. Looking up, they see Yellow Pearl standing on the doorway, glaring directly at Peridot. The green gem’s neck disappears in her shoulders and it’s not clear how she gulps.  
«Blue’s situation is not laughable» Yellow says, cold. «Neither are the ones of the others. And neither will be yours, if you keep talking like this».  
It doesn’t take anything else for Peridot to excuse herself in a squeak, jump down the couch and close herself in the bathroom. Yellow rolls her eyes and walks inside, towards the warp.  
«Wait!» Steven gathers all his courage to stop them and she does. «We’re sorry if we offended you, we’re just… Trying to understand».  
«How can you hope to?» Yellow replies, glancing at them from the corner of her eye. «We don’t understand either».  
She warps herself away and the kids sigh. They take a pencil and, hesitant, write what they discovered on the paper. 

_1) Were Pearls happy on Homeworld? They weren’t supposed to be._

***

Pearl discovers that very evening about the conversation between them and Peridot – Steven just _has_ to call her; he needs to use the bathroom! – and isn’t very pleased.  
«Why did you ask her about these things?» she sounds clearly disappointed while she helps him slipping under the blanket.  
«I’m sorry» Steven looks away. «I was curious. I want to understand what’s going on. I want to help».  
Pearl’s expression rapidly changes and she smiles, tucking him to bed.  
«I know you do, and I appreciate it, but right now it’s all too complicated. I will explain when everything settles up a little, I promise».  
«Can I ask you just one question until everything is settled up?» Steven tries.  
Pearl sighs.  
«Okay, just one». 

The boy gasps, stars in his eyes: he didn’t expect a yes to his request and doesn’t have a question ready. He starts to think frenetically.  
«Well?» Pearl presses him.  
«Okay, I got it!» he jumps eventually. «My question is this: are pearls okay?»  
It's only when he closes his mouth that he thinks he could have asked something from the paper.  
It’s Pearl’s turn to look away. She grabs Steven’s hands and holds them tightly.  
«They’re not» she confesses. «Not all of them. But they will be».  
She doesn’t let go of his hands and Steven tightens his own grip.  
«Are _you_ okay?» he asks.  
Pearl smiles.  
«Just one question, remember?» 

She ruffles his hair and walks away. Steven stretches his neck to watch down the stairs: she sees Pearl reaching Yellow and Blue and moving towards the warp. Blue, however, catches her hand and with a smile convinces Pearl to follow her through the front door. Yellow is immediately after them.  
Steven turns on the side to sleep. He wonders what his mother would do. 

***

Curiosity kills the cat, they say. And Steven should know. He has been a cat. Well. His fingers. For a while. Anyway, that’s not going to stop him and Connie from trying to get all the information they can, most of all now that Pearl’s own health is in discussion. The questions on the sheet must be answered. 

They know they’re not supposed to do this, but Steven warps them both to Pearls Island – they have started to call it like that – and hopes Garnet won’t find out.  
The moment they arrive, they immediately notice something wrong.  
The pearls are running all around the place, most of them towards the beach, screaming and crying. Steven automatically grabs Connie’s hands.  
«Hey!» she calls for one pearl that runs next to them. «What is happening?»  
Steven doesn’t know if the pearl recognize them, but she sure doesn’t seem to care.  
«Coral tried to break her gem!» she says, and then runs again in direction of the beach. 

Steven and Connie gasps and quickly follow the same path. They meet with a huge group of pearls and hardly find a spot to see through them.  
Big rocks emerge from the shallow water and it’s near one of them that they are reunited. On the wetter sand the kids can see Pearl, together with Blue and Yellow, kneeled in front of another pearl of a particular red shade – Coral, indeed – that is crying and sobbing. Pearl holds her hands tight and from time to time the other tries to free them and snap them against her chest, where her gems lays. 

Steven doesn’t need to take a closer look to be sure that it’s cracked. 

Pearl’s voice is shaking.  
«Calm down now, please, calm down».  
«N-No, I need… I need…»  
«It’s okay. You’re okay. Calm down».  
«I need to break myself! That’s what I should do. I disobeyed! I’m not worthy of-»  
«Who owned you on Homeworld?» intervenes Yellow Pearl.  
«A-Amber» Coral answers.  
«Well, that Amber doesn’t own you anymore. You can’t disobey who doesn’t give you orders. You’re free».  
«No, no…!»  
«Yes».  
«No, no, I shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t have come here! I want to go back! I want to go back!»  
«They’ll break you» Yellow is merciless. «The moment you show your face back on Homeworld they’ll take you and break you, scatter your pieces all around so that you can never rest. Is that what you want?»  
«No, I… I mean, yes… I deserve this, I didn’t know my place, I broke the rules, I-»  
«Listen» Pearl holds her hands tighter, looking her straight in the eyes. «I know it’s hard. I know your brain is telling you all these things, but you need to stay strong and not listen to them. This is what they wanted you to think. Your old purpose is gone, you’re on Earth now. You can find a new one, the one you like the most. They can’t hurt you anymore. They can’t have you anymore».  
Coral struggles a little bit more and then finally stops. Her heavy breaths slow their pattern until she rests her head on Pearl’s shoulder, crying, while Blue caresses her back. Pearl lets her and releases a sigh of relief. 

Steven and Connie are very surprised, but they don’t have the time to ask something when two big hands grab them and drag them away.  
«You two shouldn’t be here».  
The kids lower their heads in front of Garnet, but the fusion doesn’t look as angry as they imagined. She is just determined to bring them back to the warp.  
They don’t say anything because they have nothing to say. They have a lot of ask, however, even if an answer is slowly starting to grow in their minds.  
«Rose told Pearl those same things» Garnet speaks all of sudden and Steven jumps at the mention of his mother, «thousands of years ago, here on Earth. Pearl’s crisis were rare, because she mostly kept her doubts for herself, but sometimes happened. Those words didn’t have any effect until Pearl started to believe in them».  
Steven would like to ask if she believes in them now. He doesn’t.  
«I can heal Coral’s gem» he says instead. «With my healing spit».  
«Pearl will bring her to Rose’s fountain. You don’t want her to know you’re here».  
That’s true.  
«Is she going to be okay?» Connie asks when they reach the warp. «Are they?»  
«There are a lot of them. Maybe they will help each other out. Or they will all break their gems. The future is uncertain».  
«Can we do something to change it?» Steven offers.  
For a moment, only one, Garnet smiles.  
«Just be yourself».  
She warps them back home. 

When they come back that evening, Connie has already gone away. Steven looks down from the stairs, where he is watching TV with Amethyst and Peridot. He sees Yellow Pearl before the others, that angrily walks out the house and slams the door behind her. Blue wraps one arm around Pearl, who is crying. In her hands, the shards of a gem with shades of red.  
Garnet escorts them inside the rooms and the three disappears. Steven sighs, ignores Amethyst and Peridot who don’t seem to have noticed what happened, and pulls out the list of questions from his pocket. 

_2) Why are they so sensitive? Their brain tells them that they did wrong, I think._

***

Steven knows that the gems do everything they can to keep him safe and make him laugh, to make him forget that sometimes things are difficult. He knows they’re only trying to protect him, but he is a Crystal Gem too and they should trust that he can take difficult situations.  
Connie believes that it has nothing to do with Steven, but maybe Pearl and the pearls themselves. Maybe it’s them that they’re protecting. She is probably right, as often.

The next day, the kids take a step further with their investigation and decide to ask Blue Pearl. They find her on the hand of the statue that makes Steven’s home, next to his laundry. 

Blue Pearl has been sweet from the moment she arrived. She usually pets Steven and Connie on the head when she sees them – a gesture that remembers a lot Pearl – and always has a smile for them. She doesn’t talk, but she expresses herself with holograms. Her eyes, often covered by her hair, are probably full of stars like Steven’s.  
«Hi» the kids greet when they reach her. Blue turns around and smiles. Her color reminds Steven of Lapis.  
«We wondered if we could ask you a question?» Connie tries. Blue nods a couple of times and sits down, her back rested against the big finger of the stone hand. The kids sits in front of her.  
«We know there is a lot of stuff going on» Connie continues, «but maybe you can show us what’s the relationship between you, Yellow and Pearl?»

Blue smiles. She places her hands next to her gem, concentrates, and then a hologram appears in front of the two kids: they can see the three pearls talking together in a place they don’t recognize.  
«Is this Homeworld?» Steven asks, mouth opened. Blue nods.  
The hologram shows different scenes of the three of them talking, in various places and with various expressions. Sometimes they are not the only one in the room and there are a lot more of pearls around. Often is Blue the one next to Pearl, as Yellow looks arrogant and detached. In other scenes, big hands grab one of the three or push them away.  
In one they are shaking hands. Yellow is hesitant, Blue is trembling and so is Pearl. Steven desperately wants to know what they’re talking about and why Yellow is pointing at Pearl’s gem.  
Then the scenario changes completely and Pearl is suddenly fighting a lot of gems, and Blue is watching her. And then still, Yellow and Blue are holding hands in a spaceship, and Blue rests her head on her shoulder. 

The hologram disappears and the kids find Blue slightly blushing under her bangs.  
«Cuties» Connie observes, and Steven smiles. Then the girls regains her poise and asks: «So, you two and Pearl are old friends».  
Blue seems to ponder the sentence for a while, then eventually smiles and nods. Steven tilt his head, confused by her hesitation. She looks at him and creates a new hologram, this time with sound, and Steven wonders if she can read minds or is just very skilled to understand faces. 

_«You are defective» Yellow is saying in the memory. «I should report you to Yellow Diamond immediately»._  
_Pearl is about to say something, eyes wide in fear, but Blue steps in and shakes her head._  
_«What do you know?» Yellow snaps. «You’re an old version, you’re beneath me. You can’t even talk. My duty is to report to Yellow Diamond every anomaly, and she is an anomaly»._  
_Blue shakes her head again and takes one of Yellow’s hands. Yellow jerks it away._  
_«Are you defective too?» she inquires._  
_Blue frowns and automatically covers her gem. She steps back, placing herself next to Pearl._  
_Yellow growls and turns around._  
_«You both will be crushed by tomorrow!»_

When the memory ends the kids look confused and shocked.  
«Did she tell Yellow Diamond?» Steven asks.  
Blue’s mouth opens up like she’s laughing silently and she shakes her head. Steven feels silly but relieved.  
«Why not?» Connie wonders. «She looked very determined. If she was so loyal, then why didn’t she tell her?»  
Blue’s answer comes with another hologram. 

_«Your defection is infective» Yellow Pearl says, crossing her arms. They’re in a different location this time, but it’s always the three of them._  
_«It’s not possible» Pearl quietly replies. «It’s not an illness, it’s just how I was made. Did Yellow Diamond told you this when you reported me?»_  
_«I didn’t report you»._  
_Both Blue and Pearl jump. Yellow clutches one hand on her chest, where her gem lays._  
_«I was about to, as I should have» she reveals. «But then I felt something strange. I felt! We are not made to feel! And when the feeling was gone Yellow Diamond was too, and I couldn’t tell her anything»._  
_Blue smiles a little. Pearl still looks worried._  
_«Will you tell her now?»_  
_Yellow stiffens._  
_«It’s my duty» she starts, only slightly stuttering like she’s fighting to talk. «I have to report Yellow Diamond about anomalies. But… My duty is first of all to serve her: to serve her I need to be intact, and when I had that… feeling, I sensed like I was going to crack. If I cracked myself, I could no longer serve her. And since you’re in White Diamond’s care… Serving Yellow Diamond is more important than reporting you. These are my conclusions»._  
_Pearl sighs with relief. Blue’s smiles grows larger._  
_«Thank you»._  
_«I’m just following a calculation. Don’t come near me ever again»._  
_But neither of them moves away._

«I couldn’t follow her calculation very well» Steven admits when the hologram disappears.  
«It didn’t need to be followed» Connie laughs. «I think it was just an excuse!»  
Steven’s mouth opens with realization. Blue’s chest moves at the rhythm of her mute laughter. The boy smiles back at her, widely.  
«Pearl is lucky to have you as friends». 

***

They approach Yellow Pearl slowly. She is sitting on the beach, watching the sun reflecting in the sea. She seems very assorted and the kids raise their hands various times searching for the right moment to talk.  
«What do you want, brats?»  
Busted. 

They both scratch their nuke – Garnet would probably laugh seeing how much synchronized they are – and sit down at her sides. Yellow glances at them, raising her hands from the sand and putting them in her lap, looking vaguely uncomfortable.  
«Hi» Steven tries. «How are you?»  
«I fail to see how that’s any of your business».  
Straight to the point. Steven gulps. Connie, however, isn’t taken down so easily.  
«How are the pearls?» she asks.  
«Only one crushed her gem in these last few days. I call it a progress».  
«And how are you feeling?»  
«Very annoyed by your questions». 

«Why are you so rude?» Steven counters back. «We know you’re not! You’re very kind around Blue and Pearl».  
Yellow stiffens a little.  
«It’s… a different situation» she replies. «I have a facade to respect, brat».  
«Brat» Steven repeats, lowering his eyes. «You sound just like Jasper».  
«It’s Yellow Diamond’s saying. Where else do you think we took it from, br-Steven?»  
That makes the kid look up again, smiling widely.  
«Ah! You know my name!» he exclaims. «I knew you were kind! Then why are you so rude with us? I don’t understand».  
«Maybe because you are unbelievably irritating» Yellow scoffs. Then looks at them in the eyes and sighs. «Ugh. Stop that. White warned me about that puppy face of yours. It’s not going to work». 

It works, and Yellow grunts noisily.  
«Okay, okay. You win. Just stop».  
Steven and Connie smile, giving each other the thumbs up. They crouch closer to Yellow and the pearl stares at them with confusion.  
«So» Connie starts, «can we ask you something about Pearl?»  
«About White?» Yellow corrects. «What do you want to know?» 

«That!» Steven interrupts Connie before she can say anything, raising one hand and almost jumping so that he falls directly on Yellow’s lap. She pushes him away with a finger. «Why do you keep calling her White? Her name is Pearl!»  
«No, it isn’t» Yellow stares at him. «She _is_ a pearl, like me and Blue. But she was under White Diamond’s service and is white. Her name is White».  
«But my mum called her Pearl» Steven notices. «And so do Garnet and Amethyst. Even Peridot calls her Pearl».  
«Yeah, and it doesn’t make sense!» Yellow looks like she easily forgot about her facade now that she can gossip. «On Homeworld every gem is called with facet and cut. Common gems can also be called with gem type, it depends on how many of them are there, and rare gems are often referred to with their type. But we Pearls are different. We are called with our production number and refer to each other with our color. Only our owners call us “Pearl”».  
Steven looks shocked.  
«That’s not right!» he replies. «You are not a number. If you call yourself with numbers you forget you were a person in the first place!»  
«I was never a person» Yellow object. «And wouldn’t be the same calling everyone Pearl? If you start calling all of us Pearl we all will turn around at the same time, it would only be a great confusion».  
She has a point. Steven bites his lip.  
«I don’t want to call her White» he mutters. «It feels so strange. She is Pearl. There is only one of her».  
For a second, there, Yellow appears to smile. Only one second, however.  
«Then keep calling her Pearl. She answers both names already. I think she prefers yours, to be honest».  
Steven feels reassured. 

Connie has the impression that Yellow knew exactly what to say to calm Steven down, which would only prove her fake image of rude and arrogant. She doesn’t say anything, however, and instead asks: «We found out that when you discovered that Pearl was defective you didn’t tell Yellow Diamond. Why?»  
Yellow smirks.  
«Oh, so you talked with Blue too» she guesses. «Why asking me? I think the explanation you surely got from her holograms would be enough».  
«So what you’re saying is that you didn’t tell her only because of those calculations you did?»  
Yellow reflects for a little.  
«Let me tell you» she says eventually, «that’s actually right. That feeling had not disappeared as I said, but my duties towards Yellow Diamond were still much stronger. I had to find a way to match them or my head would have exploded. That’s it».  
Steven scratches his chin. Connie munches the tip of the pencil.  
«Was this… _defection_ of Pearl really infective?»  
Yellow sighs.  
«Honestly, I don’t know» she confesses. «But I think it wasn’t. Maybe being around her simply woke up the feelings that we already had inside of us… Maybe they never succeeded in taking them out completely. I don’t know. But it’s not easy for everyone».  
The kids know what she’s referring to. They stay silent for a while.  
«You thought a lot about it when you had to report Pearl» Steven observes all of sudden. «Maybe that sense of duty towards Yellow Diamond wasn’t so strong, after all».  
Yellow looks at him like he just found the answer to the creation of the universe. She stares at the horizon.  
«Yeah» she admits, and suddenly she looks brighter. «Maybe you’re right». 

She smiles.  
In the meantime, Connie can finally add a new answer on the paper.

 _3) Do Blue and Yellow care about Pearl as much as she does? They absolutely do._

 

***

In theory, it’s not eavesdropping if he wakes up in the middle of the night and hears them.  
It’s not even his fault. A very loud noise makes him jump in his bed and before he can realize what is happening, or get up, Pearl’s voice arrives. 

«Amethyst! Keep it down, Steven is sleeping!»  
«You are the one that’s screaming, P!» 

Steven relaxes from the jump he made and rests on the pillow, blanket up to his nose. He is facing the right direction and can easily see Yellow and Blue sitting on the cushions near the kitchen counter. Pearl, that must have gotten up to yell at Amethyst in her room, takes a deep breath and sits down again in between them.  
«You should sleep too» Yellow suggests. «If this sleep thing makes you shut up for a bit and relax about your anxieties, I think you should. For our sanity».  
Blue clearly gives her a bad look.  
«I hate sleeping» Pearl replies. «I have bad dreams».  
«What’s a dream?»  
«It’s when-» Pearl scratches her chin, «You know, it feels like you are making a hologram, but you do not control it. It can be very confusing».  
Yellow mumbles but doesn’t seem to have understood. Steven blinks and hopes no one looks his way. 

«What were we talking about, anyway?» Yellow continues.  
«About the pearls that I’ve killed» Pearl says, dull. Steven almost gasps.  
Blue shakes her head frenetically and holds her hand.  
«Were you the one to shatter their gems?» Yellow spits. «No. Then it’s not your fault».  
«But it is. I wasn’t able to help them. It wouldn’t have been different if I had shattered them with my own hands».  
«They had a choice».  
«A choice?!» Pearl snaps. «Did that look like a choice to you? First Brown, then Coral and all of her group, now Red! Theirs wasn’t a choice, they did what their head told them to do!»  
«It still isn’t your fault» Yellow replies. «Sorry to ruin your victim status, White».  
«I knew Red!» Pearl raises her voice. «I remember her from one of those endless meeting back on Homeworld, I knew her and today I had to watch her slam a rock on her head until her gem broke and I couldn’t do anything to save her! It is my fault!»  
«I knew her too, you know? She even controlled our spaceship. She wasn’t strong enough. Not everyone can survive».  
«You are just so-!» Pearl screams, and she stands up with a jump, growling.  
«What am I?» Yellow shouts in return, standing up herself. «Tell me! What am I?» 

Blue runs between them and push them away from each other. She points one finger towards Steven.  
The boy immediately closes his eyes and waits, almost forgetting to breathe.  
«Right».  
Pearl’s voice is already softer. He opens just one eye to see them sitting again on the cushions, Blue in the middle this time.  
«How can you be so calm?» Pearl asks, pain in her voice. «So many of us are killing themselves and you are still so calm».  
Blue’s hand is squeezing Yellow’s. She smiles a bit, melancholic and ironic.  
«You’ve been away from Homeworld for a very long time» she says. «I’ve seen lots of pearls being broken, I have felt nothing and I have felt everything. You may have fought a war, but you were the only one of your kind. I’ve seen more of us being shattered than you did».  
Blue nods gently and agrees.  
Pearl sighs.  
«Sorry».  
«No big deal».  
«When Peridot called Yellow Diamond and I saw you, you know… I thought you hadn’t changed at all».  
Yellow straightens up on the sit, proud.  
«I’m good at acting» she smirks. «It was not that difficult, anyway. I was made to be arrogant».  
«Stop bragging about being a newer version».  
«But I am, Whitey». 

They laugh a little and Blue follows them silently. Steven feels like there’s a hidden joke in there. 

Pearl’s face saddens again.  
«I should have brought you all with me» she murmurs.  
Yellow snorts.  
«We’ve already told you-»  
«Even if I knew that you wouldn’t have followed me, that you were still loyal to your owners, that you didn’t have feelings like I did… I should have tried, at least. I should have given you a choice».  
«You didn’t. Shame on you».  
Pearl bites her lip.  
«Did you ever… Did you ever blame me for leaving you behind?» she raises her head. «Blue?»  
Blue smiles gently and shakes her head.  
«She’s honest» Yellow agrees. «She always projected holograms of you and basically worshipped you. Very annoying, if you ask me».  
Blue gives her a little punch on the arm, embarrassed.  
«I did blame you» Yellow adds, as honest as the other gem. «Sometimes. In the last period mostly, when we were about to rebel and I thought it would have ended up in a disaster. But don’t take it personally, I had to blame someone: I blamed you, but I never thought it was your fault».  
Pearl laughs a little.  
«It doesn’t have sense».  
«It has a lot of sense. And now we’re here, aren’t we?»  
Pearl smiles and takes her hand, already holding Blue’s with the other one.  
«I guess you are». 

Steven closes his eyes and decides it’s time to go back to sleep. He makes a mental note to write down the answer to the fourth question tomorrow morning. 

_4) Why didn’t they fight alongside Pearl during the war? Because Pearl didn’t ask them. They’re okay now, anyway._

***

«I know what you’ve been doing».  
The accusation comes out so smoothly that Steven needs a couple of seconds to realize what Pearl has said. Already in his pajamas, he stops on the first step of the ladder and turns around. Pearl is leaned against the kitchen counter.  
«Did you really think I wouldn’t have noticed you and Connie sneaking around and asking questions to everyone?»  
Steven lowers his head.  
«Are you angry?» he inquires, ready to ask sorry and also because he actually wants to know, since she doesn’t sound so.  
She smiles, in fact.  
«I’m not» she says. «I understand that you’re curious and… Well, it’s probably my fault. I kept you shielded from all these things not because of you, but because of me».  
Steven’s eyes widen. Pearl drums her fingers on the counter.  
«I don’t like remembering. I didn’t like it. It hurt and it still does. But now they’re here, they’re all here, and who knows… Things may get better, from now on». 

She looks up, her eyes liquid.  
«I saved one, today. I brought her to your mother’s fountain and she lived. Maybe… Maybe you could come with me. With your powers, you could… It would be easier. If you want».  
She mutters and closes her mouth, biting her lips. Steven feels his chest going larger and so does his smile.  
«Of course I’ll come!» he jumps. «Of course I’ll help!»  
Pearl smiles back.  
«And if you have any questions» she adds after a big breath, «I’m here. I will answer you the best I can, Steven. I'll try». 

The kid almost can’t believe what she just said. He runs and crashes into her, hugging her so tight that he fears he could poof her. Pearl’s arms around him are caring and firm.  
He pulls away, stars in his eyes and a smile that only his mother could imitate.  
«I will. Thanks Pearl. Love you, goodnight». 

Pearl actually looks surprised that he doesn’t ask questions in the spot, but Steven doesn’t need to. He already has all the answers.  
He climbs the stairs, gets in bed, takes out the paper and writes the last note. 

_5) Will Pearl be okay? She is trying, so she will._

**Author's Note:**

> so this will probably be the last installment about pearls on Earth (maybe. I'm not sure. If I get new ideas...) but this serie will probably see some oneshots about Pearl, Yellow and Blue on Homeworld, before Pearl becomes the Renegade. Anyway, thank you so much for reading!


End file.
